Friday, January 27, 2012

Another word that is not to be tolerated by some is loser. It is bad to be a loser , it is bad to lose and there is nothing worse than to come in last. I like losing, I like being a loser and I like being last. I do it all the time when I run.

Last about 10 of us ran through the soggy, snowy, and slippery streets of Arnprior for about 7 (okay, 6.85) K yesterday. We did not start the run until 6:00 p.m. and the runners, all women (except for the leader) ,were, to put it bluntly, faster and better than me. Also, for the most part younger than me. So I ran at the back , and the gap between them and I lengthened. So I ran the dark streets by myslef. A red flashing light on my starboard side, and a white flashing light on the port. No iPod, no MP3, no music. Just the scruff of my feet on the ice and snow. Once in a while the lead runner would circle back an bit to see if I was moving and well.
And I was moving and I was well. I have found running very spiritual, especially when I do it by myself. I am conscious of my breath, of my heart beat, of those five bypasses, of my muscles, of my brain as it directs the rest of the body to balance on the ice.
I am free to listen to voices of those living and those passed. I run with the problems of the day, my hopes for the future, of my plans for the world. I run with my mother, I run with the Saints, I run with Demons, I run with my Higher Power. My Higher Power is no Patrick Makau . She huffs and puffs as much as I do , but if I drag my ass out to run so can she, creator of the entire universe, all time, and all that is good and positive aside. So my Higher Power is a loser as well. Losers get martyred, losers get crucified, losers get a lot of abuse. In fact I am not even a worthy loser but that is neither here nor there. Losers get to watch where everybody has been, losers have the best seat in town, losers make winners. I like running where I run, and the humility of being last is very, very, good for me. The lead runner pointed out a shortcut to me, but I liked being a loser so much I would not take it. I joked that I would not let him ruin my day my depriving me of distance - I know that he just had my best interests in mind.
Oh, and in full disclosure: near the end I caught up with three of the slower runners so I still lost, but as by as much I would have liked.

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