Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Today a bunch of stuff came in the mail from the University of Ottawa Heart Institute:

Your Guide to the University of Ottawa Heart Institute (I had better start calling it by the proper name) : I did not know for example, that the UOHI “is Canada’s largest and foremost cardiovascular health centre dedicated to understanding, treating, and preventing heart disease”. It talks about mission, values, and all that sort of lofty stuff as well as the nitty gritty of stuff like who does what, infection control, educational services, and really all that you need to know.

Cardiac Surgery – Important Information for Patients and Friends - This is the real stuff you need to know, like how long you will be there ( 4 – 7 days), the tests to pass before you get to go home (walk 120 meters and climb 9 stairs), what you can hang on during surgery (just what God and your mama gave you) , estimated surgery time ( 4 -6 hours), and visiting hours (it depends where you are at).

Anesthesia Patient Information - God Bless the Pain Relievers!!! You get to pop pills before and of course they take care of you while you are having surgery. Funniest Line – “You will still be connected to the breathing machine when you wake up from surgery, You will be not able to speak and the breathing tube may be somewhat uncomfortable”

Cardiac Surgery Clinical Pathway – The game plan:
Surgery Day – Shaving and Special Shower: Then drugs, then briefly meet the OR team, then more drugs, then blackness, then awake to breathing tube down trachea, monitoring equipment and intravenous lines, a tube that goes into your snout and down into the stomach to keep it empty, a tube in your bladder, a chest incision and drainage tubes, a few body incisions and temporary pacemaker wires. Plus more drugs. I am not sure if I should cry or laugh. There is a chance the breathing tube comes out that day or maybe early the next morning. You get oxygen from a mask and do two things: Meet Teddy (who I think is your pillow) and learn what DB & C means : Deep Breathing and Coughing Exercises,

Day I

The big task is to walk 32 metres and you get to sit in a chair. You get to drink fluids. I read this with a sort of disbelief. I have walked a few 15 kilometer hikes this summer past, regularly went on 20 K bike rides and my jogging took me about 3.5 K four times a week. When my father was dying he said that the thing that really amazed him was the incredible fatigue that took his body over. I hardly will be dying but just the weakness is one of those things that my mind cannot imagine.
Continue relationship with the mysterious Teddy and more DB & C.

Day II

The funny line here is not to forget to let your nurse know if you are in pain. I think I have that covered. The big task today is sitting in a chair while you eat and you walk 60 metres. You graduate from oxygen mask to oxygen prongs. I get one of my long standing fantasies fulfilled – Gymnastics in bed, albeit in a different way than in Penthouse Forum (does that still exist?)
Continue relationship with the mysterious Teddy and more DB & C.


Day III
Walk 120 meters. ( at this rate by Day 16 I will be walking 938,040 metres but I imagine the curve is not exponential). Reminder to let the nurse know if you are in pain.
Continue relationship with the mysterious Teddy and more DB & C.

Day IV
The Frankenstein wires are removed and you get to take a shower. Now the taskmasters want you to do stairs.
Continue relationship with the mysterious Teddy and more DB & C

Day V
Home!! (maybe, my Source of All Positive Energy may have other plans)


There was more information but I suspect my guest readers will not want to know about anal swabs to ferret out (maybe poor choice of words) Methicillin Resistant Staphylococcus Aureus and Vancomycin Resistant Enterococcus.

Interesting reading : I am going for a walk in the park – well, to paraphrase Winston Churchill just a bit Some Walk ….. Some Park. .

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