Aarrgghh!!! I am having a bypass!!!! Aarrgghh!!! It will hurt. It could kill me!!!! Aarrgghh!!!! Deep breath, shallow breath, deep breath, shallow breath …..

Whew, that is better. My plan is to have this surgery only once, not a thousand times but once in a while I have these little flights of panic but they pass. Here is a list of things that help:

Rubbing a beagle’s nose

Scratching a tabby cat’s belly.

Carrying a black cat while you rub his toes.

Scuffing a mainly white with orange patches cat’s ears.

Letting a calico cat nuzzle your hand.

Walking against the wind and then coming inside to warm yourself by the fireplace.

Listening to Christmas Music for almost the last time until December 1st, 2010. (I refuse to count what I hear in the malls before that)

Eating 80% cacao chocolate

Watching your wife Google.

Drinking Moroccan Mint Tea.

Opening the mail box and seeing no bills.

Having neighbours stop you on the street and telling you that they will help you with anything.

Having the mayor tell you that she will be checking in on you.

Gratitude that the University of Ottawa Heart Institute does not prorogue.

Being able to send a three imposition e-mail to friends and not worry.

I feel so much better. It is good, I think, to panic a bit, in fact a good panic is exhilarating, sort of a Edmund Hillary / Tenzing Norgay thing. But at the end of that it is not to return to the good old Serenity Airfield and do this one day at a time.