“I am sorry that you got cancelled” - Voice Mail Message from my family doctor’s nurse, left in response to my coronary bypass being put back to February 8th, from January 25th. I am not entirely sure if from an etymological perspective stating that “I got canceled” is correct, and from a theological perspective it sounds terrifying, but I am making a simple thing too complex: the fact of the matter is that the hospital is still suffering residual H1NI bed closings with some bug even newer thrown in to confirm that evolution at least in the world of viruses and bacteria is still operating (sorry Sarah Palin)

But I still have a good pre-op.

0810 – show up at University of Ottawa Heart Institute and register
0820 – Go for X-Ray. Learn difference between left and right
0835 – Go for cardiogram
0845 – Go to give 3 vials blood samples
0915 – Meet Cardiac Surgeon. Go over the benefits (longer life, better life) and risks (agonizing, painful, unquenchable anguish leading to death). Decide to go with former and sign consent. Find out that my left arm will donate arteries ( or is it veins ?). Anyway, left arm will donate something and find out that I have an extra one. (blood flow thing – not left arm) God must have been thinking when we were in beta. Find out that Cardiac Surgeon is on call weekend before my operation. Relieved to hear that he will not operate on me if he is up all night on transplant.
1000 – Coffee Break at Hospital Tim Horton’s. We do not want to give up parking spot so we hang at the hospital. Have nice conversation with man from Halifax in the Smoking Cessation Business.
1130 – Lunch at Hospital – Low fat, low salt carrot soup and low fat low salt tuna sandwich (on white bread – what is that all about?)
Noon – check voice mail at home, message to call triage nurse at Ottawa Heart Institute
12:15 – go see triage nurse, told that my procedure is delayed; I think they felt worse than me
1300 – Pre Admission. Meet Nurse Helen where I am ……

Weighed and Measured
Told how to do the pre-op showers (four days in a row with two soap pads, one for belly button south and one for belly button north)
Pre–op mouthwash – four times the day before
Swabs – Nurse Helen does my nostrils – I do my own bum
Lessons on how it will be on waking (tubes, tubes, tubes, and wires, already described in earlier blog)
Meet the Anesthesiologist - “We will put a cannula over needle device in which the flexible plastic cannula is mounted on the trocar and once these are located in the vein we hit you on the head with a big mallet and you are out for the count.” Those were almost his exact words – certainly he said the mallet part. He was funny and professional and put me at great ease. He told me that he had his training in the USA , at a Top Gun hospital and that he thinks there is no better place than the University of Ottawa Heart Institute. I believe him.
Back to Nurse Helen to get a lesson in getting in and out of chairs and bed. I thought that an “incorrect” move would receive a reminder notice of pain. That is not always the case and yet you can damage yourself, without knowing it. That was likely the scariest notice of the day but Nurse Helen assured me that the lesson would be repeated many times. My wife and I had the full attention of Nurse Helen for the afternoon. She was professional, smart, compassionate, thorough, funny, and we knew we were in the right place.

1515 – We are free to go, we have no more questions

1520 – We are stopped by Nurse Helen in the lobby (she bolted down the back stairs). She figured out that they needed more blood samples from me. I told you I was in the right place.