Dependence -
the condition or fact of being dependent; specifically.,
a being contingent upon or influenced, controlled, or determined by something else
reliance (on another) for support or aid
subordination



Wow! Dependence seems like a very bad word and a very bad condition. In fact if you Google dependency it gets even worse, and all kinds of horrible medical and psychological attributes are given to the dependent one. The adult incontinence product that seems most popular is called Depends, and all of us of a certain age giggle nervously about its use, and the day it will perhaps enter our lives.

Somehow being dependent, depending on others, and anything to do with that word has become a sign of weakness, and something to be under the harsh spotlight of shame. I think that is a lot of bunk – being dependent can be one of the most wonderful and empowering things in your life.

First of all no one is independent. We all depend on police, firefighters, ambulance drivers, coffee servers, banana pickers, airplane cabin crew, snow plow operators, hydro lines people, solidiers, pharmacists, hotel clerks, farmers, farmers, farmers, furniture delivery people, lawyers, conservation officers and about 30 million others in this country alone to keep things moving and to keep the other 29,999,999 safe.

I have been quite dependent on others the last while. Obviously there was the time in the hospital where that dependence is pretty darn clear. But then you get home. I discover that I am dependent on my wife (well more dependent than before) on tasks around the house. I am dependent on her for car rides. If I have to get somewhere and she is not available I will prevail upon a friend. I go to events and I cannot help put chairs away – someone else does it. At my book club meeting the other day someone even got me tea. Nurses came and changed my dressings.

Being dependent is good for me. It shows me my true place in the universe (powerless) but it shows the solution to that is dependence and that gives me power. It is only when I take help from others with a truly grateful heart and a truly open mind that I can help others.

I think the dictionary should change the definition of dependency:
Dependence - The condition of being fully open to the love of others so that you can train your brain and soul to be truly grateful. This will give you full power to make the world a better place one action at a time.