Fear, Resentment, Anger - Guest Bloggers!!

This is my blog, and I should write it of course myself, but I have been having guests visit me at two or three in the morning, and rather than ignoring them or deflecting them, I have decided to let them plainly and openly state their cases.

Fear – Yes, thank you, I am ahh Fear and you have to excuse me. I am frankly a bit frightened …. That was a joke; you know to break the ice. Never mind, let’s get to it. Okay, you could die, you could have a heart attack, the pain medication may not work, or it may make you sick, or, best of all it may not work and make you sick. Ha!!! Those tubes down your throat and up your whazoo are going to feel very, very, strange. And what if something breaks while up your whazoo? Boy, I would not want to be in your shoes. And what if a Boeing Dreamliner is flying overhead and an engine falls off and lands in the OR? Hey!! That was not supposed to be funny!! How do you backspace on this? Oh, you can’t …. What kind of BS is that? Look, I do better at 2:30 a.m. , I don’t work in the light. The hell with all of you, I am leaving.

Resentment - What a waste of time your summer was!!! All that kayaking, all that time with your fat ass on that bicycle. And the jogging … okay at the start you could barely run, and by mid October you were so proud of those ten and ones. But you are going for a frigging bypass!! And did you make your big race night on December 31^st? Did you? Did you? Did you? Did you?

Okay, your family doctor that you love so much told you she was proud of you, and the cardiologist told you the running was the best thing that you could have done, but are you really so dumb that your don’t understand that they get paid to say that?

Oh, Fear is right, this writing stuff out is stupid. We don’t operate that way. That Father Jack told you to not ignore us, to feel us. He meant at three in the morning, not now. This is going to ruin me. I am going to play this back and play it back and play it back. It is going to drive me insane.

Anger – I am not biting. Those two stupid idiots Fear and Resentment fell for that trap Father Jack set out. Father Jack in his orange scarf from the Ashram telling you not to hide us away. Telling you to let us tell our stories. Telling you that we should not be buried because we would emerge some other way. He is a fool. And you are a fool. And that beagle of yours is a fool. And Fear and Resentment are Super Fools. I am leaving. It is so much easier to work with the Tory Caucus.

Well the boys have had their say. I think that I was fair and open and I let them say what they wanted, but I am of course not responsible for their comments. But yes, my friend Father Jack did indeed suggest that I do not repress my fear, resentment or anger. I feel that I was fair and open to them and I do not need to see them now at three in the morning. I plan on sleeping.