I feel like I have rushed into a train compartment. Sort of a Hitchcock Movie, Black and White, Music by Bernard Herman, Cinematography by George Barnes. Adapted from a short story by Daphne du Maurier

It is the “Train of Life Changing Illness” and of course it is full. But I get on and go to my reserved compartment – two bench seats across from each other. My glasses are fogged and I cannot make out who is there, but I see two men - one seated on each side. I know that both are hoping that I don’t sit beside them, but that cannot worry me; I am tired and have to sit down.
Holy Moly!! I am sitting beside Jack Layton. He is looking a bit silly as he is wearing a Houndstooth Wool Cap in an NDP Orange Harris Tweed and a Gortex Macintosh. But he smiles the Jack Smile and tells me “Hi, I am Jack Layton. I have prostate cancer, but so do a lot of people. I am getting it treated here in Canada and while I may go down a couple of times, I am not staying down. Have you had your prostate checked out?” I tell him that I have indeed. I tell him that I have heart disease. I tell him that I am having it treated right here in Canada as well. I tell him that lots of people have heart disease. I tell him that it often goes undetected. I tell him that it is a real danger for women and that Olivia should really get herself checked out.

I also tell him that his cap looks silly. He looks hurt and tells me that this is really my fault for not having Edith Head do the costumes. Touché – the man has a point. The guy sitting across from us is immaculately dressed. I can tell his navy blue blazer is a Samualsohn because he has not cut off the sleeve label. He is wearing a fedora pulled over his eyes, like he is trying to hide, and on his lap is a Valextra Diplomatico briefcase. He is really clutching it; his knuckles are white he is holding it so hard.

“Isn’t that Danny Williams” I ask. “I am pretty sure it is, but he won’t look me in the eye and pretended not to hear when I spoke to him” Jack replies. We wonder why Danny Williams or a Danny Look-alike is on the train.

The door suddenly flings open – it is Kathy Dunderdale , the Deputy Premier of Newfoundland and Labrador. I have no doubts where her surname came from – “It is none of your damn business who that man is, and what he has in his briefcase, it is private, private, private, you left wing rabble!!” I meekly try to tell her that I once shook Mike Harris’ hand (hey, he extended it – what was I supposed to do?)

Suddenly the train goes dark! We hear a blood curdling scream “It’s the Steve! It’s the Steve!” The sounds of loud and angry people pierce the air. I am frightened and don’t know what to do. Shouts of Equalization and Lying Bastards pierce the inky blackness.

And then there is silence, just the quiet and gentle rattle of the train. And there is light. But there is no man sitting across from Jack and me – just an empty seat. I move across to it to give Mr. Layton some more room. But we both are sad. I learned something from Jack Layton and I think he learned something from me. But from the mystery man on the “Train of Life Changing Illness” we learned nothing. What a missed opportunity.

Fade to the conductor, who looks just like Alfred Hitchcock, collecting tickets.