Well tomorrow is my big day with the cardiologist, assuming he has not been done in by H1N1. I know that I have no control over what will happen. I am just another unit rolling along the health care conveyer belt and I am stopping by his work station. I am sure he cares and all that, but for him it is just another Monday morning and I am likely the first of many patients that he has to see. Maybe he worked all weekend and Monday is just mid week for him.
I have a 60 minute TV drama anticipation of tomorrow. I want to be diagnosed, treated and cured tomorrow morning. (commercials would be okay) . But I also know this: I have no choice but to accept what is given to me. Maybe he will say nothing can be done about anything ever, I will just be a swing actor waiting to be called on stage for the Big Curtain Call. Maybe I will have to wait for tests and appointments; I will be having my own Cardiac Quebec. It will be waiting for the referendums, holding your breath while they happen, and waiting some more.
The reality is that I am one of the luckiest people on the face of the earth. I live in a time and place that makes my little problem occurring in the Imperfect Calm (or whatever the opposite of a Perfect Storm is) a very lucky turning of the stars.
Near the end of the Sound of Music, Uncle Max Detweiler, makes the comment that this may be the last time the von Trapp Family Singers will be performing in Austria for a long, long, time. In that light I had an Odi’s Kingburger in Renfrew , outside on the picnic tables in the waning sun of an incredibly warm autumn . I look forward to tomorrow unfolding.